No, not that…I’m talking about sleep!
I know it’s a cliché and I was willing to clock those who made comments towards the end of my pregnancy about “getting used to sleepless nights heh heh” but I had no idea what sleep deprivation could do to a person. Eve is a couple of weeks shy of her first birthday and the night before last was the very first time she has slept through the night without waking once. I was afraid it might be a cruel fluke so I said nothing but then she slept through again last night so (touch wood) this might be the start of something wonderful.
For most of her year Eve hasn’t been an occasional waker either. More nights than not she woke every hour on the hour demanding to be fed and I would drag myself into her room, feed her, put her back down and crawl back to bed to sleep for 45 minutes before repeating the cycle. At the beginning I remember thinking I couldn’t do it but I didn’t know how I could get out of it, no one else could feed her and that’s all she wanted. In the wee hours I would often plan my escape from motherhood as I slumped in the feeding chair with this mini-torturer clamped to my boob. If I could just have one night I thought it would be ok, if I could just catch up a bit on my sleep debt. Usually just when I was on the verge of collapse she’d deign to permit me 3 or 4 hours on the trot and the next day it would be enough to stop me running out the door and not looking back.
The worst nights were when I wouldn’t be able to tell you how many times exactly I’d been up during the night, I’d startle awake in my bed thinking I was still in the chair and not knowing where she was. I’d get up, feed her, put her back down, all while still semi-conscious, how I didn’t fall down the stairs (again) or try to put her to sleep in the cupboard I don’t know. For the longest time I truly thought this wasn’t going to get better. Anyone else I spoke to with a baby Eve’s age told me that their little Sleeping Beauties put themselves to bed at 7:30 and didn’t wake for 12 hours. I thought I’d been given a baby insomniac and I’d have to wait until she was in school before I’d ever see an 8 hour night again.
Well, I’m here to tell any poor unfortunate who’s going through the same that it will happen. One of these nights your little darling will finally figure it out and sleep the night through. Now of course I have to train myself not to wake at 4am and lie listening to the monitor wondering if I should just poke my head in there and check…
2 replies on “Finally I’m Getting Some!”
Hehe, what a vicious cycle! She wakes you up at night, you can’t sleep, you are exhausted, and then when she stops waking up it’s so hard to believe she’s actually sleeping, that you still can’t sleep–terrifying! Hope you continue getting some much needed rest 🙂
[…] A few months ago I blogged that Eve had finally started sleeping through the night. Sadly this wasn’t to last and, although it is not as bad as it used to be, she still wakes me at least twice a night, often more, and yes, I am weak, I give in to the little despot and breastfeed her to sleep on each of these occasions. Oh the shame. It’s just that if I don’t feed her it becomes a pitched battle to get her to calm down and go back to sleep and her will at 3 in the morning is a hell of a lot stronger than mine. Especially since I haven’t felt rested since she was born and I crave my sleep like a heroin addict craves their fix….and the dog ate my homework Miss. […]