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Personal

New Teeth

Nanny McPhee

For the past couple of years (with a break while I was pregnant and feeling so ill I couldn’t bear to have anyone’s hands in my mouth) I have been having a LOT of dental work to fix a problem I have had with my bite since I was a kid. Well, my dentist fixed the bite problem this summer during a number of 2 and 3 hour sessions involving plenty of drilling and those lovely trays of pink goo that oozes down your throat while your eyes well up with the effort of not gagging. He’s a great dentist though and my Mum is his assistant so we always have a bit of a laugh (well they have a laugh and I just make muffled grunting noises).

So, since the main problem was fixed the only thing that has been left to do is to have my front teeth veneered so they look nice and straight because the bite had caused them to become worn down and crooked. Of all the stages this was the most nerve-wracking for me since it involves totally changing the look of my face. It’s almost like having a nose job or some other facial cosmetic surgery. I was worried that it would be like when that girl off Dirty Dancing had a nosejob and she ended up looking extremely plain and not herself at all even though it could be argued that the nose was more traditionally pretty or “right” she just looked like everybody else and it was her old “incorrect” nose that made her look like her.

Before:
baby

After:
Baby

OK, I may have been overthinking this a little too much, but I was still nervous going in this morning. I’d been given mock teeth a couple of weeks ago that I could take in and out to give people an idea of what my new teeth were going to look like. It didn’t help my nerves that most people said I looked like Nanny McPhee (see first photo above). The session this morning was two hours long and I had to wear a lovely contraption known as a “SeeMore” Retractor which by the end of the first hour was getting pretty painful and has the unpleasant effect of making you drool all over your face:

Seemore

When the time was up I was just as relieved to have that thing out of my mouth as I was anxious to see my new teeth. When he did hand me the mirror I was very happy to see that they don’t look as rough as the mock set did, although they’re not quite finished yet. He’s left them deliberately longer and squarer than they will be when they’re done. He wants me to live with them for a couple of weeks to get used to them and then he will trim them and tidy them up. So, it’s a bit difficult to judge them for now and no I won’t be posting any photos, I’m far too self-conscious for that. But if you want an idea, this is kind of how I feel right now:

Janet Street Porter

Categories
Personal

Sassafrackin Cat Wee!

Murphy

Bailey

Yes, these two may look all cute and cuddly and butter-wouldn’t-melt and all (that is if you like cats, for you cat-haters out there I apologise for being someone who blogs about their pets) but I’m just about ready to string them up. Don’t tell my landlord but they will not stop weeing in the house. Lately my morning routine starts with a mop and bucket and every manner of strong-smelling detergent but I’m afraid the place now has that permanent underlying tang of cat pee usually associated with crazy cat-ladies.

It doesn’t help that a leftover from my pregnancy is a superhuman sense of smell, so I can’t get it out of my nose and I wander around sniffing and asking Matt, “Can’t you smell that?” “Now, over here, it’s definitely stronger here.” and generally driving him around the bend with my obsession.

This is not a new problem, it’s just gotten worse. They started when we first moved house a few years ago and there was some upheaval and stress for them. Murphy would do it more, tending to favour a spot at the front door. I did a lot of reading up on ways and methods of getting them to stop and it seems it’s not easy to retrain a cat. I did manage to get them to stop though ***sensitive cat-lovers look away now*** thanks to this wonderful static-electric mat I found on the internet. It was also a good way to wake us up if we came downstairs barefoot half-asleep in the morning and accidentally stood on it.

Unfortunately their weeing in this house isn’t confined to one spot, they’ve branched out. They’re equal opportunity spritzers these days and the smell is almost impossible to get out. There are cleaning products out there that will get rid of it but they’re not available in Ireland and no suppliers I’ve spoken to will ship them to me.

I absolutely loathe litter trays and I can’t have one in the house because of Eve. A cat flap isn’t possible since we’re only renting here. So I’m out of ideas. Besides, right now I think they’re actually coming into the house in order to pee.

Categories
Personal

Where’s My Packet Of Tayto Mum?

Found this via Mighty Girl’s blog: this woman prepares lunch for her two children every day and takes a photo of it for her blog (who doesn’t?). It’s far from quail’s eggs and tori soboro that I was raised!

Categories
Eve Personal

Guilt Trip

tantrum

I don’t drive. Yes it’s true, I’m in my 30’s and I just haven’t gotten around to it. I know how, I’ve had lessons many times over the years, I even own my own car and used to drive it…on short trips…avoiding all hills…and roundabouts. I just don’t have my full license and now that I have a baby I don’t think it’s right to drive without one. I mean, it’s one thing to put myself and thousands of other Dubliners at risk, but my precious baby?! Yes, trout-slap me now.

So, up until now I’ve not experienced the guilt-trip that is loading up your car in a car park. My sister looks after Eve and her own two-year-old son for the few hours I work every day and today she had one of those minor episodes that is the daily bread and butter of every parent of young children. She had just got back to the car when she discovered that her son had had a wardrobe-malfunction of the nappy variety and was soaked through. So, she strapped Eve into her carseat and then proceded to perfrom an emergency nappy change on the front seat of the car. Meanwhile she notices that another driver has decided to wait for her spot and slowly a long line of cars is forming behind him.

Trying desperately to get the nappy on to her furiously struggling toddler she can feel the weight of all those eyes upon her. That lovely feeling of being judged. She is so hassled she gives up trying to put his trousers back on and plonks him wearing just nappy, vest and coat into his carseat. At this point he decides he does not want to be in the carseat and proceeds to have a full on screaming, limb-flailing tantrum while she is trying to strap him in. Does this prompt the driver to move on? Noooo, he just sits there, with the queue of people behind him, all tapping their steering wheels and craning to watch the show.

As she struggles on, her face bright red, sweat streaming, one of the other drivers comes up and asks the lead driver would he please move on as there are plenty of other spaces further on and the line of traffic is starting to back up out onto the main road causing a traffic jam.

Phew! Thinks my sister, at last someone with some sense, she can carry on her battle without the audience. The first driver finally pulls away and goes on to find another spot. Only the line doesn’t budge because the next driver in line decides that he will now wait for her! So she has to finish the wrestling match with her son, whose screams have been joined by Eve’s who’s upset that he’s upset, and then she has to collapse the buggy, manhandle it into the boot and try to find space for the shopping…all with the impatient ticking of engines in her ears.

When she did get out onto the road she was already a good few miles away when she remembered the scratch card and packet of M&Ms she’d put on the roof while trying to find her keys. Good on her though, she was so peed off with the whole mess she went back to search and found the scratch card and the M&Ms on the side of the road. She decided she was just a little too embarrassed to be seen picking the M&Ms out of the gutter (I mean it was Dalkey you know!) but she swiped up the scratch card and ended up winning a fiver on it!

Categories
Personal

Stupid Question

Random stupid question that occurred to me while feeding Eve in the middle of the night:

Which came first…doobies or The Doobie Brothers? Are they even connected?

This is what 11 months of sleep deprivation will do to a (mostly) normal brain.